There was nothing I enjoyed more than playing “Little People” with my brother Bobby. “Little People” were the play mobile toys that you could get at special toy stores at the time, now they are more commonly found in target and some other stores. Every time Bobby had a doctor’s appointment or we had saved some money my mom would take us to downtown Birmingham to the toy store to pick out play mobile people. We would pick up the catalog and dream for hours on all the stuff we would save up to buy one day. Bobby and I were each other’s best playmates, after school on Friday we would set up our upstairs bedrooms to be a city, we built our houses out of milk crates and always had something special such as a camping trip or a farm to work on or motzart’s concert to play at. Our playing didn’t just last for hours it lasted all weekend! We had our certain ‘little people’ that were ours and we would hide away in our imaginary world and play; I miss those times. Even now at the age of 26 I go into toy stores and see play mobile and want certain things that we couldn’t afford as kids or stare with envy at the new things they have come out with since we were kids. Deep down I wish Kayley could start playing with the little people now but she’d probably choke on them. We have a big green plastic container in my basement that stores our wonderful little people, Bobby and I always fight over which part is his and which is mine. I will confess that I can’t wait to play with Kayley for hours, even weekends when she is old enough to handle play like that. But for now I am content watching her play advance everyday. She has little noah’s ark people and animals she plays with and toys she likes to push and dance to when the music plays. Lately she has learned to stand up on her own which has brought new excitement to certain toys as she can see and do more with them. It will be a matter of months and I know my little baby will be a toddler, walking around every where and playing with even more fun toys. What a wonderful world of toys, pretend, make believe, dress up! Oh I can’t wait to see her and maybe join in on those stages. Before I had Kayley I realized that we are kids and get to play then we become teenagers and young adults and have to act ‘cool’ but sooner or later we become parents which cycles back to allowing us to play again; yes deep down I will always be a Toys r Us Kid! 
Play Time June 5, 2009
Oh It’s Been Quite the Few Days… May 16, 2009
I love the warmth of the sun; there is nothing like sitting outside, listening to the birds chirp their melodic songs, seeing the trees go from their lifeless being of brown to their life giving color of green. Spring is exciting because I know summer isn’t far away and summer is my favorite season. It’s amazing that I have actually been able to sit outside for 30 minutes straight with no interruptions. Just me and the outdoors; it’s my moment of de-stressing and relaxing. I know I have plenty of things to do as I hear the dryer go off, warning me that it’s my turn to come fold the clothes. This is my third load of the day. Of course there is cleaning to be done and business emails and voicemails to respond to. I remember the day when I checked my voice mail as soon as the little icon came up on my phone, just recently I happened to hold down #1 on my phone and it says I have 5 new messages, how did that happen? What did I do, push the red button to hang up the phone, I don’t have time to listen to them. Motherhood is a blessing of course; this holiday of was just celebrated this past weekend as I got my first “Mother’s Day” cards and presents. It was nice to feel appreciated but only other moms know how much work really goes into raising children. My little baby girl has unfortunately been sick for the past two weeks; coughing so bad her face turns all red and her eyes tear up with big crocodile tears and then she throws up whatever was in her stomach. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been thrown up on. Today she threw up all over my kitchen and herself and my jeans while I was eating lunch. I actually stopped eating my sandwich to clean up the floor, get her out of her pjs and then washed my hands and went back to eating. Afterward I laughed and thought to myself that this is how I really know that I am a Mom! I can do the impossible, eat my food without a problem or being effected right after seeing, smelling and cleaning up puke. I must admit I was actually proud of myself. Then there was the hospital visit yesterday to get X rays and lab work done. It’s funny how you try to make a trip to the hospital fun and keep the best attitude you can while going through these awful procedures. I don’t know about the average person, but I hate stepping foot in the hospital so of course what does a good Mommy do, dance and spin and sing in the waiting room as everyone kind of stares at us like we are a little bit crazy. Kayla didn’t know that though, she was just having fun. I know that my personal oasis in the sun is about to end as the clock warns me her nap is almost up but as tired as I am and as overwhelmed the days of Mommyhood may be, I can’t wait to get back to her little smile and laugh when she sees me come into her room and get her out of her crib from her nap. Even though she may throw up on me once or twice more today; there is nothing that could keep me away from her. And although I have not slept through the night in the past 10 months and have been up several times through the night in the past week, I wouldn’t trade any of this for the world! I know just as fast as the seasons turn from winter to spring to summer, so my little girl will go through seasons as she has already in just her 10 months of life, but even more so I know I must treasure every day because as the seasons cycle, the time passes and before I know it my little girl will be big and these days over puke, laundry and hospitals will be mere stories to look back on and smile about that we were able to live them together and make the most of each moment.
When It All Started… April 30, 2009
The feeling is too incredible for words. There were hours were I was consumed with just sitting there starring at my stomach. The feeling that I felt and the movement that I was witnessing brought tears to my eyes and a smile to my face. I had life inside of me; I had a miracle forming in me. This life, this baby girl that I hadn’t even met was already so real and so close to my heart. Days and nights of her twisting and kicking and playing inside of me, I knew that her middle name would be nothing other than Joy because she was definitely a joyful baby. I felt her dancing and playing inside of my womb, as she was discovering her hands, sucking her thumbs and growing daily to be strong enough to meet me, her Mommy, and the rest of this world. From the moment we sense and feel life inside of us there is a special distinction that occurs in our lives; we suddenly become different. Our lives aren’t just about us anymore, nor will they ever be. We become “Mommy”, a role that we pretended to be as little girls growing up as we played house and dolls and then later dreamed about and talked about with best friends and our husbands, but suddenly all the pretending and dreaming turn into a reality. A reality that is so special and unique that no on can understand the undertaking that comes with this title, “Mommy”, other than another Mommy. Sure people try to warn us that we will have sleepless nights, we will change thousands of diapers, we will be puked on and have to change our clothes numerous times, our boobs will grow 3 times larger then normal and leak or spray at any given time, but somewhere in all the warnings they can’t prepare us for the reality of it all. Until we are actually living in the moment of Mommyhood we just don’t really understand. We don’t realize how amazing it is to stare at our baby for hours and just marvel at every little detail; their toes, fingernails, wrinkles and dimples; how perfect in everyway they are. We don’t comprehend the feeling of being responsible for such an innocent, helpless and fragile life that needs and relies on us to survive. But most of all I don’t think we realize what it really means to not be living for ourselves anymore. There is no room to be selfish any longer and that is something only other Mommies can relate to. Before I became pregnant I was always busy working in the day and then on the go and involved in something every night. If I wasn’t busy I made sure to pick up the phone and call a friend to be busy. Life just didn’t seem right to me if I wasn’t always doing, going and with other people. I had lots of friends, stayed out late every night; my house barely knew it had people that actually lived in it we were gone so often. I was what you could have called a ‘free bird’ or a ‘busy bee’, always busy doing whatever I wanted and that meant always with people, lots and lots of people whether they were good friends or friendly strangers. Now in all fairness I did understand that this lifestyle would change when the baby came. I wasn’t completely naïve to the reality and responsibility that came with Mommyhood. I thought I was mentally prepared; but I wasn’t. Kayley Joy came into this world July 9, 2008 at 1:37 am, she was absolutely stunning, more beautiful than I could have ever imagined with her dark head of hair and big bright blue eyes. She was prefect in every way and wide-eyed and alert for all to meet her. I was already deeply in love with my baby girl. I got out of the hospital on Friday only to acclimate myself with her new schedule and learn how to care for my little girl as I prepared for my father’s funeral. My dad suddenly passed away 4 days before she was born and we chose to hold off on his memorial service until I was out of the hospital. I handled it as well as a person could but then lost composer as I walked into the church with my body still sore, my less than 1 week old baby girl in hand and saw the church filled with family in friends to celebrate and remember my dad, Kayley’s grandpa’s life, someone that she never met. The rest of the summer was fun and went by fast as we went on many walks outside. Kayley of course slept through them all since that’s about all newborns do besides eat and poop. Fall came quickly and winter quicker as the cold days seemed to last forever. Winter was the longest and hardest season and the reality of Mommyhood was beginning to set in. All the friends and family that once came by to ohhh and ahhh over Kayley stopped coming. I was no longer able to go out with Ian or friends to visit with people like I used to, I had a baby to take care of and keep from the chills of the winter weather. Loneliness started to creep in. I could no longer watch TV anymore, I had already seen every episode on TLC and was sick of all the reruns; I had to turn it off. Now not only was I alone but I didn’t even have the one way communication from the TV. Sure I loved being Kayley’s Mommy, it was the best job in the world! Thankfully I was able to be a stay at home mom and witness every milestone she has had so far but that’s all I was. My friends who were single couldn’t relate or even understand the world I lived in and really didn’t have much interest to listen to my stories about Kayley smiling today, or rolling over, or blowing bubbles or finding her hand for the first time. I don’t blame them; I can clearly remember being at that stage in life where I didn’t want to hear all about someone’s kid. The only person who ever called to check in was my mom, somehow the social group I was involved in 10 months earlier had forgotten about me, Kayley’s Mommy. There were times that being able to go to the bank and Krogers alone was exciting for me! I was even thrilled when I ran into someone I knew and got to carry on a conversation; of course they were only asking how the baby was doing which I happily reported on. Thankfully spring has come, Kayley is almost 10 months old and has grown so quickly. She is my favorite baby in the world and brings me more joy and laughter than I could have ever imagined. I have adjusted to the responsibilities of Mommyhood but have also learned something that is very important and I wish to share with other new, young moms. I have a message that I want to get out and that is: Moms need moms! We can’t do this alone, we weren’t created to live in Mommyhood all by ourselves. Moms can only understand what other Moms experience day after day both the good and the bad. Just as we are the only ones who know what it feels like to have life growing inside of us; to feel and experience this miracle; we are also the only ones that can relate to the blessings of raising our miracles on a daily basis.
